Slow Living In Winter - Part 1
Tips for a Slow December
If there is one thing Winter teaches us, it is to slow down. When we look at what is happening in nature we see the trees have shed their leaves and are slowing their processes down for a period so that they can renew. Animals are hibernating, birds have migrated to warmer climates, and everything is more restful and at peace. With the harvest over, humans in the past would have spent a lot of the winter periods in their homes keeping warm, spending time together, and focusing on household tasks. We too can learn from these examples. Winter is the time for withdrawing, slowing down, pausing, and reflecting.
In our modern world, we have forgotten the lessons of seasonal living. Rather than Winter being a slower time, it has become a time of busyness, especially in December. Everything seems to speed up and it seems like there is so much to do in the lead-up to Christmas. And for a lot of people, the winter period is also a really busy time in their jobs. We cannot necessarily completely avoid this but we can take steps to slow down some aspects of our lives so that we can have a more restful and rejuvenating winter. And then when spring comes around again, we will be ready to act.
In this first blog post on slow living in Winter, we will look at how to have a slow December, particularly a slow Christmas/Yule period (or other holiday).
Take The Pressure Off
“Joy comes to us in ordinary moments. We risk missing out on joy when we get too busy chasing down the extraordinary.” (Brene Brown)
Let me burst a bubble for you - you will not have the “perfect Christmas”. It might be pretty great. It might not. But it won’t be perfect. We might have a picture in our minds of what the ideal Christmas will be like and how we are going to make it happen this year, but the reality is that it won’t go exactly according to plan. Life mucks things up….a lot. So take the pressure off yourself to create some perfect Christmas. You really don’t need that ideal Instagram photo. Accept that things will not work exactly according to plan and you’ll feel a whole lot better and less stressed. You’ll probably enjoy Christmas a lot more and therefore have a more “perfect” time.
What Matters Most
Start with writing a list of what matters most to you and your family about Christmas. What does Christmas mean to you? What do you enjoy the most? What are the key traditions that are a “must have” to feel Christmassy for you e.g. food, family, activities, decorating etc? When you stop and think about those things, and write them down (it aids the thinking process) you can then start to design a Christmas around what you want it to be, rather than what society tells you it should be. Slow living is about being intentional - and that starts with deciding what matters most.
Say No
Next, write a second list. This time it should be what you don’t want/like about Christmas and December - what stresses you out, what puts too much pressure on you. And then think of ways to avoid those things or overcome them (where possible). There is far too much pressure in December to go to social events, see lots of people, do lots of activities, buy too many presents, and generally just stress and exhaust your body, time, and money. It is ok to say No. If it’s not an absolute obligation then weigh up the benefits vs costs to you and feel free to decline.
While I love the idea of a Christmas bucket list or 24 activities leading up to Christmas, the reality is that December is already busy enough without adding yet more “to-do’s” to it. But…if you want those 24 activities, then feel free. I think it might be better to just pick a couple though.
And get off social media. Nothing makes us more stressed or wastes more time than being on social media. The constant pressure to compare your Christmas to that of everyone else or to research the perfect Christmas ideal is draining. Take a one-month digital detox in December and see how it makes life so much easier.
Plan
Now you have your lists - what’s important and what you want to avoid. Now you can plan. Ideally, you plan as far in advance as possible but if you haven’t done that yet then now is the time to do some planning.
You can then create your to-do list and your present list - what things do you need to do in the run-up to and during the Christmas period? Who do you need to buy presents for and what will you buy?
You may also want to create a list of activities you want to do, movies you want to watch, books you want to read e.t.c. But remember that you can’t do everything so the key is to prioritise the most important things.
Something that really makes life easier is having those traditions and routines you really enjoy that you do every year - perhaps it is the same decorations, the same activities, the same recipes, the same foods e.t.c. Having these as traditions, where you already know what you need, what to do, and how to do it, takes a lot of pressure off in terms of thinking and planning. Equally, if you find that some things are just traditions for the sake of it, and they don't really work for you and your family anymore, feel free to scrap them and reduce the pressure that way.
As an aside, you can plan throughout the year. For example, I make sure I save a little bit of money each month for Christmas so by the time it comes around, I don’t have to suddenly find the budget for it, and that reduces financial stress. You can reduce the stress further by having a budget and sticking to it.
You can also buy things earlier in the year - try buying some of the Christmas food and presents throughout the year so that you don’t have to do it all in December. A good time to pick up Christmas decorations and cards is during the sales in January when shops are trying to get rid of their stock.
Decorations
I like to plan my decorations to be up in time for either the start of Winter (which I take as 1st Dec) or the new moon of the Yule month. Another traditional time is to do it at the beginning of Advent. This year all of these coincide on 1st December.
You don’t have to decorate if you don’t like the clutter, but I personally like having decorations around for Christmas. I dislike decorating itself and so I don’t want to just put things up for a few weeks or a month - I tend to focus my decorating on “Winter decorations” as a whole and so I keep them up pretty much all winter. It makes January a lot cosier then too.
Decorating also doesn’t have to all be done at the same time - you can take your time and decorate different rooms or types of decorations on different days. It helps reduce the pressure a bit then, especially if you like to put up lots of decorations.
And it is also important to delegate when it comes to decorating - if you have kids they can help decorate the Christmas tree. This also goes for other parts of Christmas too - delegate some tasks to others.
If you are feeling creative or only have a small budget, then going for a walk in nature to find decorations is a great idea - pine branches can be used for garlands and wreaths. Pinecones put in a bowl on the side or along a shelf make great decorations. You can make Christmas decorations using sticks (perhaps a star) and other bits of greenery - holly, ivy e.t.c. You could find a small log and create a Yule Log out of it. This is something I do every December. It is much more eco-friendly and in harmony with nature to make our own decorations from what we can gather outdoors.
And finally, when you do take the decorations down after Christmas - label the boxes and pack them away in a clear order so it makes it much easier and quicker to get them out and put them up next year.
Gifts
Buying presents for family and friends can get very expensive, lead to lots of waste and seriously wreck the planet (not to mention our family finances). Consumerism is not living in harmony. There are lots of ways to reduce the stress and expense of this e.g.
Decide to do a Secret Santa with adult family members or work colleagues instead of buying presents for everyone.
Ask people what they want for Christmas so they can tell you what they really want rather than you buying something they don’t and it ending up wasted. It also means you have to think less/ spend less time hunting for the “perfect gift” and so reduces your stress that way.
Consider buying experiences or gift vouchers instead of physical items to reduce the waste and give them something to remember instead.
Consider making a donation in their name to a charity they really care about.
Buy them consumable goods like food or drink so that it is used up and there is less to waste/ throw away later.
Do your shopping online so you don’t have to deal with the crowds in the shops.
Create a “wish list” of things you’d like which you can share with family members who ask you what you want for Christmas.
Unless you really like doing Christmas Cards, just don’t bother - they are very wasteful for the environment, and take a lot of time (not to mention the postage expense). You can message your family members to tell them you’ll be making a donation to charity instead of doing Christmas cards this year if you want to.
Cooking
Having to spend a lot of time in the kitchen cooking for Christmas is not fun and just adds to the stress of the day. There are plenty of ways to reduce this stress so you can have a more relaxing Christmas day.
Have a plan for an easy breakfast - something that takes a few minutes to make. A tradition in my family growing up was to have croissants with smoked salmon and cream cheese on. Nowadays I prefer making gingerbread pancakes instead.
A lot of cultures have their main Christmas meal on Christmas eve. This is a great idea as you can do any prep during the day on Christmas eve (if time allows) and then enjoy a simpler meal on Christmas day.
Alternatively, if having the main Christmas meal on Christmas eve isn’t possible, try to prep as much of the main Christmas day food on the days leading up to it so that you have less to do on Christmas day itself.
Delegate - get every family member involved in the cooking process or the cleaning up afterwards.
Simplify the menu - instead of having an elaborate menu or cooking foods you know are just going to get wasted anyway (especially some of the veggies), simplify and just cook the things you all really enjoy and will all eat.
Use leftovers the next day - We usually cook far too much for Christmas so when planning the Christmas menu, acknowledge this and think about how you can use the leftovers in a meal the next day to make it easier for you.
For things that can be stored for a long time e.g. Christmas cake, sausage rolls, mince pies e.t.c. - make these well ahead of time in the Autumn.
Or if you want to make it really easy (and have the budget for it), consider going out for Christmas dinner instead.
Forget The New Years Resolutions
Many of us make New Year’s resolutions in time for January 1st, usually out of guilt for how much we’ve eaten or drunk over Christmas. But why do we make them just in time for the coldest and, for many, most miserable time of the year? Nature is not making New Year’s resolutions on January 1st. It doesn’t properly stir until Spring. Spring is the time of action and that’s when we should be making any resolutions. January is much more about resting, reflecting, and thinking deeply about the coming year. So take the pressure off yourself, learn from Nature, and scrap the whole “New Year’s Resolutions” idea.
The Solstice Pause
One of my favourite days of the year is the Winter Solstice. When I first started celebrating it I filled it with lots of extra activities and made it almost like another version of Christmas. But that got too much so I looked to Nature.
What we see happening in Nature on the Winter Solstice is that the Sun takes a pause. It appears to rise in the same place for a 3-day period (normally it rises in a slightly different place each day for the rest of the year). It basically appears to “stand still”. I have taken that lesson on board and now I see the Winter Solstice as “Nature’s Pause”. Like a pendulum that has swung from one extreme to the middle and it’s about to continue on the other side. It’s that moment to breathe deep before the movement starts again. In other words, it is a day for calm, quiet, and pausing. Not doing much, just resting. It’s a time to go inward, to contemplate, to pause just before the busyness of Christmas. I do still do some low-key celebrations that day but primarily the day is about quietness.
The solstice is a perfect opportunity to take time out for yourself. But really this extends throughout December - when everything is busy it’s even more important to carve out even small periods of time for resting and for yourself so that it is easier to cope.
Conclusion
Winter is a time to slow down, rest and reflect. If we take some time to pause and think about what we truly want out of Christmas, say No to the rest and plan well, we can have a slow Christmas. When it comes to decorating, buying gifts, cooking or more, there are plenty of ways to reduce the pressures at this time of year and have ourselves a more peaceful December time this year.